I come home from work, usually stumbling in no later than 6pm, and after I strip naked and slip into my pjs, I usually head to the kitchen to start the necessary preparations for feeding time.
My kitchen window faces directly into the kitchen window of my neighbours across the courtyard, and they just so happen to keep the same schedule that I do.
There is just one big difference between our two households: I am not naked the majority of the time that I am at home. These two? Well, these two walk in the door and their clothes must be blown off their bodies the second they walk in because I rarely see that man’s incredibly furry buttocks shielded by a swath of cloth.
These people are just chests and junk to me. The window is such that I can never see the man’s face, as the blinds come down just where his chin is. She’s too short to see her poontang pie above the window sill, and has a stupid haircut so I never see her face. Just her tatas and just his big ol’ flacid dong.
HOW APPETIZING IS THAT?
To spend the amount of time in the kitchen, cooking, as they do, they’ve got to be big vegans. Who cooks any kind of meet in the nude? That’s just begging to have you skinn marred by some horrible grease fire or an accidental spatula-fall.
I still prefer my nudist vegan neighbours across the way to the annoying French lesbians two floors down with 3 dogs they can’t control.
BEST GIF OF ALL TIME.
What makes Melissa McCarthy special isn’t just her ability to take the hit: it’s her ability to nail the landing and then to drop the mic with a one-liner that inspires eternal devotion. She knows precisely the expectations she’s playing against, and so far, the expectations are losing.
When I use it:
When my parents use it:
I want to find this guy in the first gif and hug him forever.
Whatever you choose, however many roads you travel, I hope that you choose not to be a lady. I hope you will find some way to break the rules and make a little trouble out there. And I also hope that you will choose to make some of that trouble on behalf of women. ~Nora Ephron
Rest in peace, Nora.
May 19, 1941 – June 26, 2012